Life Coach

Show Up For Yourself Every Fucking Day

Repeat after me: "I show up for myself every single day."

I write these words in a note on my phone or in my journal every single morning and I feel something shift as they appear on screen/paper. "As you think, so shall you become."

You know what feels really shitty? When you make a promise to yourself and then break it because you're so busy making everyone else happy or self-sabotaging because you're scared that there's not enough time, money, resources, energy. You just can't, won't be able to, it's hard, etc.

These are called excuses. You use them to back up your actions.

I caught myself making an excuse as to why I couldn't do something JUST LAST WEEK. This work? It's not a one and done. It's not a fix-it-and-forget-it recipe. It's changing your daily habits so they become second nature, from the way you think to the way you "be."

This tough love pep talk is me inviting you to choose to show up for yourself every freaking day, especially when it's hard, even when it's scary, accepting that that will look different day to day. Show up for yourself instead of giving YOURSELF excuses (because you are the one you need to convince) that feel warm and safe until one day you realize you used that excuse one month too long and you can't even convince yourself at the most surface level that it's true anymore. Because it's not.

Do this until it's a habit. Until you wouldn't know how to NOT say yes to yourself and your dreams.

Because the people who show up for themselves mentally, emotionally and physically - they have the lives of the people you're comparing yourself to. And they did that by strengthening the habit of saying YES to THEMSELVES repeatedly until those thoughts inspired different actions which created different external realities.

This shit isn't just fluff. "As you think, so shall you become."

This is your life, your dreams, your relationships, your body we're talking about. Stop getting in your own way. Time to show up.

Trying to be the "Right Kind" of Mother

“Look at me. Please.”

She’s only four, and yet I hear myself saying these words to my eldest daughter daily. Imploring and even begging her to see me standing here trying to connect amidst the frustration of a “human moment” where her will and boundary testing is far more powerful than my patience.

 

In these moments, I find myself in a constant state of “trying.”

Trying to be the right kind of mother for this kind of daughter.

Trying to say the thing that will teach her manners and self-responsibility, but not shame her.

Trying to lead with love and connection over the traditional parenting paradigms valuing control and discipline.

Trying to be the best version of me in moments that are often mirroring back to me my least favorite human traits.

 

My daughter is excruciatingly sensitive.

So am I.

My daughter is unreasonable (and a bit terrifying) when hungry.

So am I.

My daughter wants love and connection, even when she’s at at the peak of emotional rage.

So do I.

My daughter is cautious and self-aware, making it nearly impossible to force her into something before she’s ready. And when she is, the shift in perception and attitude is swift and palpable.

Samesies.

 

So I lean heavily on all that self-awareness when I’m asking her to look at me and she won’t. I stare straight into the mirror she holds up when she’s sobbing uncontrollably because I’ve drawn a line in the sand and said it’s this or that, and she can’t have the in-between.

 

I, personally, love the in-between. I dive into the spaces between two opposing truths and I make myself a nest. Not willing to fall into the trap of believing my life’s choices are black and white or that my thoughts or actions can be good or bad.

 

I’m not sure she understands there’s an in between at all, but in these moments of parenting, it makes sense to me that my daughter is resistant to staying in the corner I’ve backed her into. If I’m honest, I can see parallels of me behaving the same way yesterday, last week, two decades ago.

 

So in my BEST mothering moments—the ones when I lead with self-awareness, love and empathy, instead of ultimatums and exhaustion—I get curious, and I ask myself WHY.

 

Why have I drawn this line in the sand and what does it say about ME that I’m drawing it right now? When did my mood bend from upbeat to beat down and did my daughter have anything to do with it or am I imposing my mood on her will?

 

And I understand that there really is no right or wrong. And my mother was doing the best she could with the information she had, and so am I. And every encounter can bring us closer together or farther apart, and even if I mess up this moment, I can choose again in 5 minutes and invite her eyes to find mine. And when she’s finally ready to look at me, she’ll see a mama who’s only positive about the following: “I love you. I care. I’m trying. I’m human. I’m learning. Let’s keep doing this together. Forever and always.”

 

What the F is a Mom Coach?

You probably don’t know what a life coach is, right? I mean, why would you. I didn’t.

That is, until I met a lovely coach the first day after I quit my job and my intuition screamed "DUHHHHH," communicating not-so-subtly to me through every cell in my body.

Even once I dove into this new field with both feet, finishing my six-month intensive coaching certification and enrolling my first clients, I heard myself at parties:

“Oh, I’m just a life coach.”

It was an awkward outfit to try on for the first few months after I launched Shiny. Happy. Human., but most new identities are, don’t you think?

Try calling yourself a fiance for the first time. Obnoxious.

Wife? YIKES.

Mommy? IS THAT ME OR SOMEONE ELSE WHAT IS HAPPENING?

The irony is that my current career is actually a role I’ve played for friends and family since I was 12. Don’t believe me? Just ask them. I’m a feeler, an empath, a problem-solver and secret keeper and I’ve practiced holding nonjudgmental space since puberty. It’s a gift and a joy and so I never even imagined I could be paid to do it.

Don’t worry. Now I wear my life coach suit like SKIN.

I don’t know where Gervase ends and coach begins. I’m drawn to the work I teach, because it’s helped me SO immensely in my own journey as a HUMAN BEING, and so the lines have blurred, and I’m more than okay with that.

Sorry . . . back to the big scary question:

What the F is a life coach?   

A life coach is someone who listens beneath the surface and hears what you aren’t saying. Someone who shines a light on mismatched logic to help you make sense of and quiet your monkey mind.

A brainstorming and accountability partner. A gentle guide. A problem-untangler (definitely a thing) and space holder. Someone who sees who and how you COULD be, not all the “mistakes” you’ve made until now and all the barriers that might cause you to “fail.”

And we’re all different. We all have unique gifts and zones of genius - some of us are business coaches, others are spiritual coaches, I’ve met parent coaches and relationship coaches. But really, we are all life coaches and we all bring our own secret sauce to the table.

My secret sauce?

I’m a truth-teller and a "real AF" beautiful mess maker. A status quo breaker and an F-bomb dropper. A mirror holder who's like your keeps-it-real girl friend. A realist AND a dreamer (it's possible). I’m someone who gets YOU because, breaking news:

I AM A REAL LIFE MOMMY.

And I hear the logic-bound lies we as MOMMIES tell ourselves.

So because I’m a mom and I get moms, I’m a Mom Coach. But really, I hear from just as many not-yet moms as moms telling me one of my overshares have helped them through their current human moment. Really, I just want to help women make this whole human condition thing easier, but you, mamas, you are my people.

I know the mommy traps we fall into. I know our triggers. I know what our REAL LIVES look like AND I know we are all walking unique journeys with unique challenges in the same subtext: juggling raising tiny humans and LIFE. Cake, right? ;)

Wrong.

I know your heart. I know your pain. I know your spinning mind and churning heart, because I was you yesterday, last month, last year.

We need to stop pretending that parenting isn’t so hard. We need to stop pretending that “perfect” exists. We need to stop pretending that sacrificing our identities and relationships makes us “better moms.” It doesn’t. It makes us better actresses and more exhausted humans.

I’m passionate about helping mothers make being HUMAN easier. That means anxiety, overwhelm, stress, paranoia, fear, depression, marital disputes, guilt, self-worth and ALLTHETHINGS get easier after one conversation with me. I 100% guarantee this. Try me. Or ask them.

I’m obsessed with stripping the Photoshop filters off parenting so every mother I ever meet and work with knows a) she’s not the only one, b) other mom isn’t doing it “better” and C) motherhood is supposed to look like that.

I believe you do not need to dim your light to be type of mother you’ve always dreamed. Quite the contrary, you need to turn that shit ON.

Let your children see you SHINE. Remind your husbands and partners why they chose you in the first place. Wake up every morning feeling proud of the woman you are and confident in YOUR skin. Wanna know how we can raise fulfilled and fearless tiny humans? By being AWESOME. Doing the work. Saying YES to OURSELVES and leading by example. That is most definitely HOW.

So, that’s what a Mom Coach is. Or at least, that’s who I am and how I roll and what I believe and if you’re still reading this, I have one last question for you—

When’s the last time you even thought about who YOU are?

What you want? What you like? What makes you happy and what you can do to find relief and support as a human being instead of just as that under appreciated person who does ALL THE THINGS in your house?

It’s the perfect time for ACTION, mama. Time to stop THINKING about the above and MAKE A CHANGE. We are SO ready for you. Join me and the rest of the Mommy Soul Tribe here or here. It’s the easiest YES you’ll ever say to YOU.

What is a life coach? It’s what I was put on this earth to do.

Come and find out what all the hype is about.

And if you still have questions, I always make time for those. Schedule your complimentary Truth Chat and we’ll jam, sistah.

Love, Light and Bad-assery,

G

Why I'm Celebrating Myself

Last night I had a mini celebration. For myself. Relaxing with my hubs on the couch recapping our days, it hit me that the past year of my life as a wife, woman, mother and mompreneur deserves some serious pats on the back. Is it because I’m making six figures? No. Is it because I went on a tropical vacation and boasted of my location independence? Nope. It’s not that I haven’t lost my temper with my kid, and it’s definitely not because I haven’t cried any tears. I have. Plenty. My tears free me from the confines of my crazy-ass thoughts and so Imma keep on letting them FLOW (and you should, too, btw).I celebrated EASE. Growth. Happiness. Acceptance.

I’m nearly FREE from limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, unhealthy relationships, mental illness, guilt, anxiety, shoulds and many fears that, a year ago, had plagued me my whole life and I hadn't even realized it—fear of missing out, fear of not measuring up, fear of letting people down, fear of what others think, fear of repeating my parents’ mistakes, fear of money, and on and on and on.

I let ALL that shit GO.

I celebrated a new relationship to money, and a true understanding of my inherent worth and the value I have to share with the world. Clue: It’s not complicated.

Girl with Firecracker
Girl with Firecracker

I celebrated full freaking alignment with my current identity without being attached to it. When I evolve with the seasons with my life and I'm always exactly where I'm supposed to be, life always feels like a vacation.

I celebrated the full embodiment of a new way of living, loving and learning. It is so easy for me to teach other mothers about this way because I am SO COMMITTED to walking my talk, even when it’s not shiny and happy. Even when it’s dark and human. I am living authentically and transparently, and it feels rather nice.

I celebrated stepping into the roles of truth-teller and healer, which I’ve actually been playing for years without acknowledgment. What was that word again? Oh yeah, ALIGNMENT.

I celebrated a second pregnancy that has been incredibly healthy—in body, mind and soul. Blissfully devoid of prenatal depression, which cast a dark shadow over my first. And on that note, I celebrated nearly a year off antidepressants—with the help of a new way of thinking, my life coach and acupuncture. I feel mentally stronger than I ever have in my life, and that is the result of a LOT of intentional work on MYSELF. Depression is real. It's not something to be ashamed of, AND it doesn't define me.

I celebrated new friendships that are precious to me. Mentors in my life who have massively pushed it in the direction I wanted it to go and the proof that investing in MYSELF was my WISEST choice in becoming the wife, woman, mother and mompreneur I knew I could be.

Women don’t celebrate themselves enough. We’re taught it’s conceited, and so then we seek that external validation from our partners, friends and parents.

I celebrated myself and then my hubs celebrated with me. Doing this “work” on myself for the past year has helped me co-create such a rock solid partnership with my husband that it seems crazy I ever thought I shouldn’t or couldn’t.

And now we're more aware every day that our lives are AWESOME. Because of who we are and what we've created, not because of a status or photoshop finish. Our shiny, happy and human REAL LIFE truly feels awesome, because we stop to celebrate it. It's like waking up in your second trimester without morning sickness one day and not getting down on your knees and saying "thank you thank you thank you! I will never take feeling awesome for granted again!" That's what we do with our lives. And so instead of always waiting to "arrive" somewhere or "achieve" something, every day is celebration-worthy. A gift. This one incredible life.

Maybe you’re wondering how? How do we create this? It's a total commitment to healing, growing, stepping into the bad-ass woman you were born to be and making the most of YOUR one incredible life and the gifts you were given. But obviously it takes a wee bit more than commitment, yes? There are mindset hacks, strategies, ways of reframing language, thoughts and beliefs so that you create a world that supports you, cheers you on, believes in you and your little light.

Oh, and having a coach helps. A lot. Having epic coaches and mentors to call you out on your bullshit and help you spot the logic-bound lies that are keeping you overwhelmed, anxious, dissatisfied and imbalanced is key. I would know. I've hired a ton.

I’d love to teach you everything I’ve learned since becoming a mama. Tangible strategies to make your life EASIER and give you more to celebrate. I’m still scheduling a few more 25-minute complimentary Truth Chats with women like you are ready for ease, growth, happiness and ALIGNMENT. If that’s you, I’d love to meet you. Schedule your Truth Chatand let’s jam about how you’re accidentally making your career, marriage and #momlife harder than it has to be and the exact steps I used that you can implement to say goodbye to “Fear of . . ." for GOOD.

What are you celebrating today, Beautifully Messy Mommy? Let's celebrate YOU.

And if you're craving more sisterhood and celebration in your life, head on over to our private Mommy Soul Tribe Facebook groupwhere we celebrate ourselves WEEKLY and lift each other up on the daily.

PS: Don't forget to grab your free Truth Chat here asap. I'm rolling into my third trimester here (with compression tights and errrthang), so these will NOT be available forever!

this goes into footer code injection