When someone first introduced the idea to me that some of my life's challenging circumstances could be self-inflicted and serving me in some way, I was pissed.
So you're saying that my little brother falling tragically ill and dying at the age of 17 served me in some way?
No, you stubborn ass.
Death and grief are painful, inevitable life experiences, AND what beliefs you create about the world as a result of experiencing them is your prerogative.
So you're saying that my financial strain and the job I hate is self-inflicted and serving me in some way?
You take actions and make choices that align with what you subconsciously believe to be true.
Your subconscious thoughts about who you are, where you belong, what you're capable of and how much money is available to you are running the show and making decisions for you before you even come to.
What you believe about yourself matters.
Believe you're pretty awesome and any employer would be lucky to have you? Watch as you land your dream job - because you pursue it confidently.
Believe you are not smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, resourced enough to land (or create!) your dream job? Watch as you stay right where you are, self-sabotaging your growth at every turn, anchored by logic-bound lies.
“Why!?” You ask, rolling your eyes. “Why would I hold myself back from making MONEY?”
Because your subconscious believes if you leap, you won’t make the jump. It's too risky and you are not equipped for the leap.
It sounds crazy, but you feel like you may die.
And then you back up that strategic choice not to jump with all the reasons why you don’t “need” more money. Why more money definitely isn’t available to YOU. Why money is the root of all evil anyway and you’re just fine where you are in that cushy job that’s silently crushing your soul.
And maybe that’s true. And maybe it’s not. You will know deep down if you’re lying to yourself; not me.
And maybe you have been dealt an EXTRA shitty lot.
And maybe you face obstacles that are far bigger than these.
Maybe you’re a single mom with mouths to feed and this hocus pocus BS is triggering the shit out of you.
Good. (And you are so so amazing.)
I want to trigger you. I want to challenge you. I want to love on you and tell you you’re a fucking unicorn, and sometimes first I’ll have to hold up a mirror and together we’ll need to figure out why what you see elicits rage or fear in the first place.
I’m okay with being that person.
So that you can make peace with your thoughts. So that you can feel settled in your soul. So that you can align your subconscious beliefs with your actions. So you can create space to hear your eternally wise intuition as it guides you, baby step by baby step, to your freest human experience.
Aren’t there ALWAYS exceptions to every rule?
You can look for proof that your logic is irrefutable and I could never understand, and you would certainly not be the first human to choose this response.
Or you can find evidence in one, just one, human on this planet who went for it. Who took the leap. Who defied the odds. Who broke the mold. Who pushed past the limits she was born into and very likely, made a huge impact on this planet and her family.
So my questions to you are:
- In what ways are you giving up on yourself?
- Can you consider the possibility that your subconscious beliefs are responsible for at least some of the things in your life that you don’t love?
- Are you brave enough to have a face-off with the goblins hanging in your subconscious?
Whatever the answers, I’m on your side, I’m not exempt, and you’re not alone. Maybe you’re not ready today. That’s okay. Every bit of my growth has had its own season.
But I will tell you, I have leapt, and I’ve fallen. Hard. I’ve been in the arena, bloodied up with tears streaking my face, surrounded by tissues and oppressing heavy thoughts. I’ve looked into the darkest corners of my subconscious and assessed what might happen after each leap - and, sometimes quite painfully, those things did happen.
But guess what?
I didn't die.
And that sent a pretty clear message to my subconscious that THIS IS HAPPENING, and I’m in charge, and I choose to try again. I choose to be true to ME and the path my intuition is leading me down.
“Try and fail, but don't fail to try.” —Stephen Kaggwa
*PS: It feels worth mentioning that in this current social climate, there are some people much less fortunate than you or me who may be so far buried in an oppressing class or race system they were born into that, quite frankly, these rules probably don't apply (yet). And they probably aren't reading this email, so let's make a pact that as we rise, we do what we can to bring them with us, so one day they CAN read emails like this and I can trigger the shit out of them, too, and we can all live our freest, most fully alive human lives by starting with the thoughts in our head.
Love and Truth-bombs,